Cheating Dreams

Cheating dreams are some of the most memorable. No matter if you were cheated on or you were the cheater in the dream, these dreams can really affect us emotionally. So what’s that all about? Today, we discuss what cheating in a dream could mean. 

“My Boyfriend Cheated On Me!”  

No matter if it’s actually your boyfriend, a girlfriend, a spouse, or even a friend, being cheated on in a dream is never pleasant. In fact, sometimes a partner is so hurt by the dream that they start projecting the feelings onto their significant other in real life. It doesn’t help at all that these dreams are often quite realistic. And this can, in turn, create real problems in a relationship. Remember, no matter how hurt you were by the dream, it doesn’t have to mean there is cheating going on in reality! Instead, these dreams often point to feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem. 

Common Cheating Dream Meanings 

Being Cheated on Points to Neglect 

One of the most common causes of cheating dreams is neglect. If you are feeling a lack of attention on the side of your partner, you might start subconsciously convincing yourself that their attention is focused on someone else. 

However, before you go accusing your partner of cheating, take a good look at your facts. Are they really giving you less attention than usual? If yes, are there other possible explanations for that, such as work or other obligations? Finally, it could be just a ‘slump’ – most long-term relationships go through periods where the magic cools down a bit. This is more likely to happen if you’ve been spending a lot of time together, but it’s not necessarily a bad sign. 

Being Cheated on Points to Fear of Abandonment 

Fear of abandonment is a very common type of anxiety many adults suffer from – sometimes without realizing it. It’s often a consequence of some childhood trauma, but it can resurface later in life. In addition, fear of abandonment can arise as a logical consequence of being abandoned by a partner in the past. This fear can make it very difficult to establish trust in a relationship. And when you are constantly worrying about potential outcomes of a relationship, it can, of course, resurface in your dreams. However, perhaps it’s good news that these dreams rarely have anything to do with the actual boyfriend or girlfriend. 

On the other hand, these dreams don’t have to point to abandonment issues in the literal sense. Maybe you and your partner are at a crossroads. You might be waiting for them to show commitment, and if you are not seeing it, these dreams can appear. 

Being Cheated on Points to Low Self-Esteem 

Low self-esteem is another common cause for cheating dreams, and of fear of being cheated on in general. Self-esteem issues are quite common, although many people don’t show them to the outside world. It’s especially common among children of parents with narcissistic characteristics. 

Think about it, do you have issues with self-esteem in other areas of your life? If you don’t feel worthy of your partner’s love, it’s only logical that you would dream about them cheating. If this is the cause of your dreams it’s not a sign that your partner will cheat. Rather, it’s a sign you need to do some serious work on yourself. Everybody is worthy of love, but the first step to letting love into your life is finding love for yourself! 

If you wish to learn something from this unpleasant dream, think about who your partner was cheating with. Is it a person that has qualities you aspire to? If yes, there’s a direct cause to your dream.

Being Cheated on Points to Lack of Trust 

More than anything else, cheating in dreams points to a lack of trust. Trust is essential in every relationship. We cannot control our partners, and we cannot see what they are doing at every hour of the day. So how can we know they are not cheating? We can’t. It’s all about trust. 

However, if the trust has been broken, or hasn’t yet been established for some reason, we can have very real fears of cheating and start dreaming about it. This holds true for both sides in the relationship. If you are the one who has broken the trust, you might start expecting the partner to do the same. 

Being Cheated on Points to Actual Cheating 

Let’s face it – dreaming about your partner cheating can sometimes mean they are actually cheating. We put this interpretation at the end because we want to discourage you from jumping to conclusions. Accusing your partner of cheating because it’s what you dreamt of is never a good idea. 

However, sometimes our dreams can tell us about hints and clues we have noticed in waking life but haven’t been able to put the picture together. Or perhaps we are in denial and don’t want to understand it. 

Being the Cheater in Your Dream 

To dream about a partner cheating is one thing, but sometimes we can dream about ourselves doing the cheating. If you have no inclination to cheat in real life, you might be wondering – why this now? Of course, if there has been a temptation in real life recently, this can be the cause of your dream. However, these dreams can point to other things too. 

Cheating in the dream can be metaphoric. The dream could not be about you cheating on your partner, but instead about you cheating on yourself. You might feel that you have betrayed your values and ideas. If this is the case, it is a very good idea to examine why these feelings arise. 

On the other hand, the person you are having a dream affair with might represent something. What are the qualities and the meanings you connect with this person? The dream could point to certain qualities you want to claim for yourself. They might be already there or they might need developing. 

Another cause for such dreams could actually be your sexuality. If you aren’t getting enough opportunities to express yourself sexually, or maybe you even don’t know how, in waking life, you could be exploring your sexuality in dreams. Luckily, this doesn’t mean you need to cheat on your partener. Instead, these dreams could be a pointer on what to try out while awake. 

Finally, dreams where you are the cheater often appear when your wedding is approaching. It doesn’t have to necessarily be a wedding, but dreaming about cheating (especially with exs) could mean you are questioning the path you have chosen. Again, not necessarily a bad sign, but it is a sign you need to do some soul-searching. 


We hope this guide has shown you that cheating in dreams rarely points to actual cheating. Of course, it’s always a possibility that your dream might be an interpretation of tiny clues you noticed in waking life, but not let such dreams send you into detective mode. Be alert, but not too suspicious. 

Rather, dreams about cheating are usually about our own insecurities. More than anything else, recurring cheating dreams are a sign that we need to look deep inside ourselves and find the cause. These dreams are only a manifestation of deeper problems and figuring those out is the only way to true healing. 


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